Teen Life Purpose & Career

In this lesson you are going to learn how to help your teen find their life purpose or career path.

In it you will discover:

  • The importance of putting your teenager in touch with their passion
  • Why using fear and survival thinking can send them down the wrong path
  • That your teenager has a unique gift waiting to come out
  • The importance of a “relevant education”
  • How most schools are failing our youth
  • To help your child see that school is everywhere
  • Why you need to take an honest look at your career path




Dear Parent,

My name is Sam Miller and for the last 20 years I have been helping parents regain control of the situation with their child as well as helping their teenagers deal with the many challenges they face.

My mission is to…

  1. Help you build a better relationship with your teen and
  2. Help your child become a healthy, happy, and responsible young adult

Please enjoy these free tips on how to help your teen.

Think Back For A Moment

Before you start this lesson I want you to take a moment and think back to when you were a child. Did you have any dreams? Did you want to be something when you grew up? How did your parents encourage you? Did they tell you who to be? Or did they allow you to choose your own path?

“What will you become when you grow up?”

One of the biggest concerns for a parent is “What will my child do with their life?” and, “Who will they become when they grow up?”  For most adults, many of us struggled with what we were going to do with our lives when we got older. Some of us may have had guidance counselors or parents who encouraged us to be someone important. But for the most part, many individuals were left with “What will your major in college be?”

By choosing our major in college and using it as some form of barometer as to “who we would be”, it determined what we were going to do with our lives and this gave us a sense of purpose. We’re taught from an early age that what we do needs to make a lot of money otherwise we will not be successful. Yet why are so many people unhappy and unfulfilled regardless of how much money they’ve obtained? Why are there so many people in the world with college degrees that are hardly used? Why are there so many people having mid life crisis’s because their life feels empty and meaningless when they turn forty or fifty?

Chances are, some of you taking this course probably don’t love your job. Sure, you may have come to terms and accepted it. But if you’re like most people in that your job is separate from whom you are, then you’re missing out on more than half your life. Since we spend forty (or more) hours a week at our job, wouldn’t it be great if we also loved it? Why are so many of us miserable when it comes to our career?


life purposeKids Always Knew

When we were kids, we always knew what we wanted to do from moment to moment. We saw one toy that excited us and we played with it. Then when we were done we went on to the next toy or game and life was a random series of moving from one exciting thing to the next. We never had to think much about what we wanted to do other than what was in front of us and brought us joy in that moment. If we got bored, we used our imagination to come up with ways to entertain ourselves.

As we got older, the looming question of “What will you become when you grow up?” started to hang over our heads. As if the clock was about to expire on our fun time and then we had the moment of truth where we needed to become serious adults and take on responsibility and “grow up”. The message was that once we became an adult the time for fun was over and we were supposed to separate what we did as kids from who we became as an adult. In other words, the fun was over! I still recall to this day when my dad told me how I should enjoy my youth because once I got older, I would have to get “serious”.

Survival Mode

Because we have been living in survival mode for so long, we have defined our career as a way to stay alive. It has represented our method for putting food on the table, shelter over our heads, and clothes around our body. For most of us, a job (or career) is something we do because we have to so that we can survive. But the truth is, our society is now at a point where technologically and systematically speaking, our jobs don’t just have to be a survival mechanism. They can have so much more meaning than just an end to a means.

What To Do

Below I’m going to outline a 14-step process that you can use to help guide your teenager to find their true path in life. At the end, please note that I combine them all for you to create a simple list you can use.

Projecting Your Fears

Step 1 – Do not project your fears onto your child and instead provide them a neutral space to explore what they want to do with their lives.

I remember growing up my dad always told me that I should be a doctor or lawyer because they make a lot of money. I kept hearing from parents all over how “We don’t want you to have to suffer the same way we did” and all this did was instill fear in me. Hearing over and over again that the way to be happy is to make a lot of money is a disease of the mind and society seems to be suffering from it. However, this belief is starting to unravel. Looking at people who have money and seeing how most of them are so miserable clearly shows that money doesn’t buy happiness.

Because of our expectations, instead of allowing our kids to tell us what they want to do and supporting them the best we can, we’ve been projecting our own misguided beliefs onto them. We either want to see them follow in our footsteps or we pass along our fears of not making it in the world. We push our kids toward jobs that make lots of money even at the sacrifice of their happiness. The irony is that if we all did what we loved to do we would all be quite successful in our own way; both emotionally and financially.

If you want to empower your teenager, the first step is that you must come to terms with your own fears around money and what a career is supposed to be. If you project your fears onto your teenager they will be left to work through them as they get older. Look at all the people having mid-life crisis’ who are rediscovering who they really are and what they want in their forties and fifties.  By giving your teenager a healthy and positive outlook on what a career can be, and by not associating it with fear or survival mechanisms, they will stand a better chance of discovering their life purpose.



Discovering Ones Life Purpose

Step 2 – Encourage your teenager to do something that is meaningful for them.

In recent years, the term life purpose has been slowly but surely replacing the word “job” or “career”, and this is a sign that we’re moving in a healthier and holistic direction. If your teen views their career as their life purpose rather than a job, it adds much more meaning to what they’re going to be doing for the rest of their lives. It’s so imperative that your children develop a healthy relationship around the idea of what it is they’re going to be spending their time on when they mature. This is why so many teenagers struggle with school. They’re afraid of what comes after and why shouldn’t they be? So many people are miserable in their jobs that when a teenager sees this, it gives them nothing to look forward to.

Once you have removed all fears from your definitions of what a career really is, then you can teach your teenager that a career can be a very meaningful and rewarding experience that gives them a purpose in life.

Excitement: How To Find Your Life Purpose

Step 3 – Guide your child to listen to and trust their excitement, and take action to the best of their ability.

One of the biggest genres in the self-help section of bookstores is how to discover your life purpose. Many people are lost and confused as to how to find purpose but the truth is we already knew how to do this when we were children. Unfortunately we were untaught this talent as we got older and then forgot how to do it. The way your teenager can find their life purpose is by following their excitement. As children, we always knew what excited us and we would engage it for the moment and then synchronistically move onto the next thing that excited us.

For some people this may sound too corny but look at some of the most successful people such as Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Steve Jobs. If you read their stories you will see that they did exactly that; follow their excitement. I’m not saying there is not education and other components involved that act as “supporting details” but the driving engine for their success (and many others) is that they did what they love to do.

If you want to do your teenager a great service, encourage them to do whatever excites them the most. Allow them to discover and embrace what excites them no matter how trivial it may seem in the beginning. It could be something as “simple” as skateboarding (although multi-millionaire Tony Hawk would say otherwise to how simple it is), or fiddling with a guitar (although John Mayer would argue that he was not just fiddling). It really doesn’t matter how trivial or simplistic it may “seem”. As long as you encourage your teenager to do what they love, the universe will provide everything they need in creating a clear path as to what they should be doing with their life.

Your main goal other than encouraging your teenager to do what they love is to teach them good work ethics, follow through, and integrity for “how” they do what they want to do. As their guide, it’s important that you don’t project your own expectations or desires on them and that you:

  • Provide them a neutral space for self-discovery.
  • Help them stay in the moment and discover what they love.
  • Encourage them to do whatever excites them every moment in their life.
  • Do whatever it is they want to do with conviction and integrity.

So the third step in supporting your teenager is to let them trust their excitement. All of us have something that excites us and this also ties into motivation. For those of you who have a hard time getting your teenager motivated, I guarantee that once they find something that excites them; it will change their lives forever and you will not have to motivate them.



Their Unique Gift

Step 4 – Tell your teenager that they have a unique gift to offer the world and that they will find it one day.

All of us, with no exception, have a unique gift to offer the world. Your job as your teenagers guide is to help them discover their unique gift and talent in life. The biggest mistake parent’s make is by assuming that their child’s talent is trivial but it’s not. It could be something as simple as drawing, skateboarding, playing the guitar, tinkering with computers, or whatever it may be. If you see your child getting “lost in the moment” when they’re doing something; that is their gift. The mistake that parents make by assuming that what they’re child is doing is trivial and “won’t be a career”, is that they don’t see how it can eventually unfold and manifest into something much bigger. We hear many stories of people who were just “messing around” with something and the next thing you know, they’re a huge success.

So the fourth step in this process is to not discount what it is that excites them now and encourage them to dive in head on so that they can get the most from the experience.

Synchronicity

Definition: An apparently meaningful coincidence of two or more similar or identical events that is causally unrelated.

Step 5 – Teach your teenager to take action to the best of their ability and trust in synchronicity with no expectations.

A very important ingredient in allowing your teenager to follow their excitement is trusting in synchronicity.  The reason it’s an important part of the process is that when someone is excited by what they’re doing, it raises their state of being. When a person is “high on life” because they love what they’re doing, it opens the doors to more opportunities. This means that one day what your teenager is doing may seem insignificant but because they’re so into it, it allows for other opportunities to present themselves. They’ll be able to explore their excitement and it will take them to the next step of their process. This is the meaning behind “The Secret” and “Law Of Attraction”. Simply put, you’re putting out such a high frequency and vibration to the universe that it makes it more probable that there will be an opportunity waiting to take you to the next part of your process.

So the fifth step is to teach your teenager to let go and trust in synchronicity. All they need to do is the best they can in every moment and let the magic happen. It still requires action because one cannot just sit and think of what excites them. They must be willing to take action to the best of their ability.



Relevant Education

*Note: Make sure to read the lesson on School

Step 6 – Create a relevant education that supports your teenager in what they’re passionate about.

Our educational system is backwards. We force students to take a bunch of classes that are completely irrelevant to what it is they want to do. I have spoken to so many people who feel like they have been taken advantage of and wasted so much money in college because they had to take courses (which they paid for) that had nothing to do with what they wanted to do in life. While your child may end up going to college, it’s important that whatever they study is relevant to what excites them. In fact, because of the Internet, you would be amazed at how much you can learn just researching the web.

The sixth step in this process is to help create a relevant environment for your teenager to support what they are passionate about. You need to surround them with the tools and resources that are relevant to what they want to do. Help your teenager find people, books, videos, or any resource or information that helps them learn about what they’re most interested in. Depending on what it is they’re passionate about, they might need to go to college or might not. If they’re following their passion and it turns out they do need to go to college, then at least it’s money well spent because if it’s “relevant” to what they enjoy doing, they will know how to apply what they’re learning.

Timing Is Everything

Step 7 – Do not feel forced into society’s system of school timing. Allow your teenager to unfold naturally while at the same time setting clear boundaries about what is expected of them financially once they hit a certain age.

Because we have been raised in a factory type educational system, it has been engrained in our collective psyche that we must go to college when we are 18 and have a degree when we are 22. Do you know how many kids leave college in debt and are still not sure what they want to do? I know of so many people who are $50 – $100k in debt from college and then decided to change majors. Why not just send your kid to college when they know what they want to do?

The real challenge most parents face with this issue is that they want their kid to be making money and self-sustainable by a certain age. That is understandable. So make it clear to your child that you will give them the time and space to explore who they are, but at the same time, they need to be self sufficient with their own expenses. Since everyone taking this course is at a different place financially, you need to set your own guidelines around what you expect from your teenager financially.

The seventh step is to make sure that if they do go to school they go when the time is right for them and don’t feel forced to do so just because our current structure says it’s time. You will make the most of your money if your child goes to college when they know how to apply what it is they’re learning.



School Is Everywhere

Step 8 – Encourage your teenager’s curiosity. Teach them to ask good questions and pay attention and that every moment of life is school.

Everything is school. All of us are learning in any circumstance we find ourselves in whether it’s walking down the street, talking on the phone, waiting in line, and so on. Anytime we’re speaking to someone and asking questions, we’re learning. When we watch a video we’re learning. When we watch life go by, we’re learning. Learning takes place every second and every moment and is never off.

The two most powerful tools we have in learning are:

  • Curiosity
  • Asking good questions

When someone is intrigued with something this means they have a level of interest that makes them want to explore what is going on. During their exploration process, good questions are what will help them learn more about it. By encouraging your teenager’s curiosity and teaching them how to ask good questions, you will empower them to make the most of every moment by learning something new.

The eighth step is to teach your child that everything is school and how to ask good questions. I have learned so much from people just by asking them good questions. I have some good friends from Stanford who I would have informative discussions with that led to extensive learning. In fact, without having to spend the $100k they did, I got to learn a lot of what they learned. Did I learn everything? Of course not! But I also didn’t have to pay $100k! Teach your child how to be curious, ask questions, listen and know that school is everywhere!

Experience Carries More Weight

Step 9 – Help your teenager apply what they’re learning and find a way for them to gain experience so they can build confidence and their resume.

While learning information is important, applying that information is much more important. Our school system is solely based upon cramming information down students’ throats and having them become memorizing robots. Without the ability to make good use of information and apply it in a practical way, what good is it unless your child is going to make their career on Jeapordy?

The ninth step in this process is to support your teenager in helping them apply what they learn. If you have ever been on an interview, you know that more companies value experience over education. In fact, many businesses don’t actually care what school you went to and put more emphasis on what experience you have. As someone who has run their own business for ten years and who has done plenty of interviews, I know from experience and other business managers that experience matters more than anything else.

Define Your Own Success

Step 10 – Guide your teenager to define their own success and find their own answers about what makes them happy in life.

When a newborn enters this world, they’re bombarded with messages from society that tells them what success means. We’re told that having lots of money, a fancy car, a big house, etc…are how we should define our success. Yet we know that many of these people are not happy. So what is success then? The answer to this question can only come from each individual. If there are seven billion people on this planet then there should be seven billion different definitions of what success is. That being said, all of us can agree on one thing; we all want to be fulfilled and live a happy and healthy life. I think this definition would ring true for all seven billion people. However, what makes up the details of happiness and fulfillment are going to vary from person to person.

The tenth step in this process is to help your child get in touch with their definition of success. Rather than projecting your definition or allowing them to succumb to societies definition, let them decide for themselves. In the end, they only have to answer to one person.

There Are No Small Jobs

Step 11 – Teach your teenager that there are no small jobs and to do everything with passion and integrity. By honoring what they do and where they’re at, they will move up the rung of the ladder much more effectively.

When first starting out at jobs or projects, some people assume there are some roles that are more important than others; that if someone is a manager versus a worker, the worker is valued less. Most people focus so much on where they want to go that they lose sight of what it is they’re doing. Some of the most successful people in the world started at the bottom and the reason they rose to the top was because they did their “small job” with the utmost integrity. Whether it was sweeping floors, answering phone calls, research, etc…these successful people embraced their role and did it so well that it was a no brainer for them to be promoted.

The eleventh step in this process is to instill a good work ethic in your teenager so they respect every aspect of what they do and understand that there are no small jobs. When your child truly embraces where they’re at now, it will make it much easier for them to succeed. People need to embrace where they’re at and make the most of the experience before they can move up another rung on the ladder.

The other side of this coin is that there are many people such as cashiers, secretaries, phone clerks, etc., that do not take their role seriously and therefore do not do their jobs with joy. If they did do their jobs with joy, not only would it make it more probable for them to move up the ladder, but they would also bring more joy to others and this in its own right is a success. Think about all the people a cashier at a supermarket comes into contact with. A simple smile, hello and warm exchange can literally change another person’s day.

There is a story (and I will keep it short) of a bag boy (the boy who bags groceries at the supermarket) who would go out of his way and put short little positive messages and greetings in each of the customers bag when they checked out. People loved these messages so much that they would line up for his checkout line even if other lines were empty. Customers would tell the manager how much they appreciated his messages and they would drive out of their way to get them. It’s important that you instill this type of integrity in your child so that he or she does not define entry-level jobs as “low” and do them to the best of their ability.



Life Goes In Phases

Step 12 – Teach your teenager to embrace change and that life goes in phases.

The phrase “career” conjures up an idea of something we’re going to do for the rest of our lives. Forty years ago, having a life long career was relevant because of how our system was structured. These days, everything is much more fluid. People are switching gears all the time and exploring different paths. While for some it may happen that what they chose to do at twenty will still be applicable at fifty, these days it’s not the norm. The truth is that as we grow and evolve we change which means that our life purpose will as well.

The twelfth step in this process is to teach your child that life goes in cycles and that what they enjoy now, they may not enjoy in five or ten years and that’s ok. Teach them to be open to change and trust in synchronicity because when they embrace change, it will help alleviate those transitional periods that so many people judge as being bad rather than a natural process of life.

Enjoy the Process

Step 13 – Empower your teenager to enjoy the process of what they’re doing and stay true to themselves by not getting caught up in any get rich quick schemes.

At one point or another, you have probably seen some type of get rich quick scheme. Whether it be in real estate, the internet, working from home, pyramid schemes, multi-level-marketing, and so on, there are all kinds of people praying on those who don’t know what to do with their lives. Sadly, I’ve even seen a few friends get caught up in these fiascos and it’s a real shame. The reason that these schemes don’t work is because no matter what business you enter into, it will take work. More importantly, there will be challenges and obstacles along the way. When they come up, if you are not passionate about what you’re doing, everything crumbles.

The reason that so many people fall for these programs is that they’re living without really knowing who they are and what they’re passionate about. Most people are lost and out of touch with their true self and these programs know exactly how to tap into peoples fear based survival mind. People dive in blindly thinking they will be able to “get rich quick”, not realizing there is far more involved.

The thirteenth step is to teach your child that whatever they do in life, toenjoy the process. Individuals who get caught up in these schemes don’t realize that what holds more weight than money itself is the process. When Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg make their millions, you can actually see on their faces that the money is secondary and the process and products they are creating are primary. Truly successful people enjoy all the steps it takes to become successful. In guiding your teenager to find their path in life, teach them that “the process is the goal” and not to discount it or try to bypass it because they think it’s in the way of having money. This will help instill real values in their life so that they’re not always trying to “scheme” and be an opportunist with another get rich fiasco.



Lead By Example

Step 14 – Teach your teenager about how fun it is to be alive and offer the world your unique gift and being paid for this through your life.

As in all modules, it’s going to be important for you to lead by example. Do you hate your job? Do you separate your career from your personal life? If you’re struggling with your life purpose, now is the time to get real with yourself and take that leap of faith. Otherwise, it’s going to be hard for your child to listen to what you have to say when you’re doing the opposite of what you’re telling them.

Or, if you feel “stuck” and are not happy with what you’re doing in life, be brave enough to use yourself as an example by showing your teenager how you’re not happy with your career and you wish you would have learned these tools at an earlier age.

14 Step Process

So to recap the 14 steps in supporting your teenager to help them discover their life purpose you want to:

Step 1 – Do not project your fears onto your child and provide them a neutral space to explore what they want to do with their lives.

Step 2 – Encourage your teenager to do something that is meaningful for them.

Step 3 – Guide your child to listen to and trust their excitement and take action to the best of their ability.

Step 4 – Tell your teenager that they have a unique gift to offer the world and that they will find it one day.

Step 5 – Teach your teenager to take action to the best of their ability and trust in synchronicity with no expectations.

Step 6 – Create a relevant education that supports your teenager in what they’re passionate about.

Step 7 – Do not feel forced into society’s system of school timing. Allow your teenager to unfold naturally while at the same time setting clear boundaries of what is expected of them financially once they hit a certain age.

Step 8 – Encourage your teenager’s curiosity. Teach them to ask good questions and pay attention and that every moment of life is school.

Step 9 – Help your teenager apply what they’re learning and find a way for them to gain experience so they can gain confidence build their resume.

Step 10 – Guide your teenager to define their own success and find their own answers about what makes them happy in life.

Step 11 – Teach your teenager that there are no small jobs and to do everything with passion and integrity; that by honoring where they’re at will make it much easier for them to move up the rung of the ladder.

Step 12 – Teach your teenager to embrace change and that life goes in phases.

Step 13 – Empower your teenager to enjoy the process of what they’re doing and stay true to themselves by not getting caught up in any get rich quick schemes.

Step 14 – Lead by example.

Need More Help?

If you are in need of support then I have 4 options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Counseling – If your teen is struggling with negative emotions or poor behaviors then go here.

3. Life Skills Tutoring – If you have a good kid who just needs some help learning life skills and getting ready for the “real world” then go here.

4. Parent coaching – If you need help learning how to get your teen to listen to you or do what you want then go here.

My Excitement Story

I remember when I was fourteen and I wanted to become a DJ. My mom asked me if I was interested in getting an instrument and when I told her I wanted turntables she replied, “That’s not an instrument”. I was so excited about playing music that I figured out my own way of getting turntables. A year later I had them and little by little began to collect records.

Two years later I met a friend in a parking lot of a club and we talked about how sad we were that the types of events we enjoyed so much didn’t exist any longer. He heard that I was also a DJ and playfully we threw out the idea of throwing our own events. I was so excited about the idea that I pestered my friend to do it. I knew nothing about it but I was so passionate about it that we were able to pull off our first event and it was a success.



After six months of producing events I started another production company, and that became a success. This linked us up with other production companies and we all came together and threw one big event. This event was such a success that through our excitement, a few of us decided to start our own magazine. This career lasted ten years and I had no schooling in business, event production, publishing or advertising but somehow because of my excitement I pulled it off.

After leaving the music industry I became excited about life coaching, got certified (relevant education), and dove right in. I knew nothing about this industry either but was presented with an opportunity where I got to work with a major media company in the personal growth and natural health sector. This lasted another six years and I gained tremendous experience and contacts.

In some of my most successful years, I’ve made a nice income, did what I loved, and “technically” only have an 8th grade education. I’ve worked with fortune 500 companies, consulted, and developed many other businesses on my own. Everything I’ve ever done in my career was driven by excitement and my willingness to do the work.

For some parents it may seem impossible but I’m telling you from first hand experience that it works. I’ve also studied the paths of other successful people and it’s pretty clear that they’ve done the same thing. They followed their excitement! Of course it takes work and requires learning, but once the passion is “turned on”, everything falls into place very naturally.

Even with this course I knew nothing about launching or running this type of program. But I’m so excited by the message that I did my research, learned what I needed to, took the appropriate action, and here we are!



Perfect Example

Watch Shark Tank season 2 episodes 3. You can watch it for free on Hulu.com. This episode has two great examples:

  1. There is a family with a group of kids who were so passionate about their idea that they turned it into a business.
  2. A stay at home mom solves a problem by creating a toy box for her kids and turns it into a business.

When you watch this episode, you can see in action everything I’ve talked about in this lesson. You can see that these people:

  • Are so excited
  • Knew nothing about the business
  • Dove right in
  • Surrounded themselves with a relevant education
  • Took action every day to the best of their ability

Ask Yourself These Questions:

  • Did you ever have a dream as a child? If so, what?
  • Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life? If so, write it down here.
  • Do you feel as though your parents did or did not support who you really are? Or, do you feel like you are living someone else’s life and not your own?
  • Are you worried about how your teenager will grow up? If so, why? Are they real fears or are you just projecting your own?
  • Do you see that your teenager is good at something? If so, what?
  • How can you support and encourage your teenager to live an authentic life?

Need Help?

If you are in need of support then I have a three options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Coaching & Mentoring – If you would like to get your teen some one on one support, go here.

3. Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Boredom – How to talk to your teen when they are bored

Bullying – How to talk to your teen about bullying

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology



Teen Bullying Solutions

In this lesson we are going to explore teen bullying.

In it you will learn:

  • Why teenagers are bullying others
  • Why teenagers are getting picked on
  • How our youth are just reflecting the world around them
  • The importance of getting to the root cause
  • A step-by-step guide on what to do and the talk you can have with your child
  • Bullying from a male and female perspective
  • & Much more



Take A Moment

Think back to when you were a teenager and saw someone being picked on. How did it make you feel? What crossed your mind when it was happening? Did you feel a sense of injustice, anger, sadness, or helplessness? Or did you feel numb to the whole situation? What do you want to teach your child about bullying? What important lessons or concepts would you like to share with them?

Our Children Reflect The World Around Them

As teen bullying is at an all time high, what I find interesting is how parents can be so shocked that their kids might be bullying someone or getting bullied. Teenagers are just reflecting what society already does. People in society form cliques all the time and speak down to other groups of people. Just take a look at our political system and corporate behavior and they are doing the exact same thing bullies do. Why then is it so shocking to see our teenagers bullying others?

Bullying is a direct reflection of our world when it comes to status and groups. When teenagers decide to pick on a specific person or group of people, it’s because they are emulating what they see in the world; weak vs. strong. They believe they’re the strong ones and need to show off their power. This type of exploitation is going on in many forms all around us.

The truth is that the kids who are bullying are weak and sad individuals. Those doing the bullying feel so inferior that they need to pick on someone else to make themselves feel better. They see themselves as disconnected from the rest of the world and attempt to gain power by picking on others. Because they have not discovered their true value, they feel that the only way they can feel empowered is to disempower someone else.



Think about how certain factions of the US government enter other nations and treat the locals there. It’s well documented (read “Confessions Of An Economic Hitman” by Jon Perkins) that many of the people in power view these third world countries as less than them. Hence we use our military force (bullying) to take their land and resources to get what we want because we think we are more superior. The sad truth is that certain people in our country who use the US government for their gains are actually sad, lost, and confused souls, and via their “bullying”, display how powerless they actually feel.

teen bullyingA Vicious Cycle

Many kids who are bullies are sad and angry inside and feel the need to take their emotions out on someone else. Because many children are having trouble at home whether they feel angry, unheard, unloved, and so on, they feel that the only way they can get any attention and feel better about themselves is by picking on someone else. It’s a vicious cycle wherein one person is being abused either mentally or physically and in turn takes his or her aggression out on someone else.

What To Do

If your child is being bullied, there are a few things to consider when talking to them about it. First you need to explain to them why it is happening from “those kids” perspective. You can say something like:

They are picking on you because they feel weak inside and need to feel stronger. By picking on you, it helps them feel better about themselves even though they’re sad and lost.

Another key lesson here (although a tough one to learn in these circumstances) is not to take things personally. Even though your boy or girl will internalize being bullied as their fault or feel that they’re the weak one, they need to understand that others do things (like bullying) because of their own insecurities and issues.

Inferiority Complex

The other thing that may be happening is that your child is exuding a “weak” energy and bullies like to prey on this. Either that or they are insecure, shy, or “awkward” and have not found themselves. The best way to keep them from being picked on is to either:

Become Confident – The way they can do this is by discovering their talents in life and getting good at them. As their parent, you need to help your teenager discover their authentic self so that he or she exudes a confident energy. Once they truly discover their core talents in life and get good at them, their self-confidence will grow and the other kids will pick up on this “vibe”.

Fight Back – Most parents do not want to hear this and although it would be nice if we could just tell our kids why it’s happening and to ignore it, for the most part this will not be enough. You may need to get your child into a martial art class like Jiu Jitsu or kickboxing so they can learn to defend themselves. Not only will he or she be able to put an end to getting picked on, they will also gain a lot of confidence. Just make sure that if they do learn any form of fighting that he or she understands the context (defense only).

Your Role

You need to be strong, grounded, and centered when helping your child address teen bullying. Reacting from a fear-based perspective is the worse thing you can do because this is all about them facing their fear and they’re going to be taking their strength from your cue. Your child needs you to be strong so they can use your strength to support their courage.

You will also need to prepare yourself for the fact that your child is in for a rough ride both physically and emotionally. If they’re being verbally assaulted then you need to be prepared for handling their emotions. If he or she is being physically assaulted then be ready for the fact that they could come home with bruises and scars. Once again, you need to remain neutral and not react with fear or anxiety. By providing them a strong foundation with love and courage, it will make it much easier for them to handle the situation.



So to summarize this:

  • The bully is insecure and weak and need to feel better about themselves are picking on him or her.
  • The bully is angry and frustrated and is using your child as an outlet to deal with their negative emotions.
  • He or she is being picked on because they exude a weak and inferior energy that these children sense.
  • He or she needs to gain self-confidence so they can exude more of this energy.
  • He or she needs to fight back and learn how to fight.

What If My Teenager Is Doing the Bullying?

If your teenager is picking on others, then they have some inner anger and resentment and you need to be honest with yourself as to why they have this. Most of the time (not all), this stems from their home life and because they don’t know how to, or can’t, address these feelings at home, they take it out on others at school. Make sure you have read How To Deal With An Angry Teenager.

What is going on for your child?

1. They have anger and inner emotional issues that they have not learned to deal with.

2. Because they cannot handle their anger or emotions they project it onto someone else.

3. They have not learned empathy and what it feels like to be in someone else’s shoes.

4. They still see themselves as separate from other people and do not see that when they hurt another they hurt themselves.

The best solution is to help your child transform their emotions in a constructive way. Before you can begin the exploration and healing process, you first need to help them get their anger out in a constructive manner. When kids do the bullying, it’s because they have so much negative energy inside that needs to come out. This energy is VERY real and the best way to help them get it out is by:

  • Shouting and yelling
  • Punching and kicking
  • Having a good cry
  • Rigorous exercise

A martial arts class would be great for them because they will be able to do both and learn respect and discipline at the same time. Another way for them to do this is by taking them to a park and letting them yell and scream as loud as they can and then hit a punching bag or pillow. Either way, the energy needs to come out. Just think about the last time you were stressed out. Didn’t you feel better once you released it?

Getting To The Root Cause

While these approaches can help, the real solution to this is finding out why your child is so angry and frustrated? What is causing them so much pain that they need to hurt someone else? As stated earlier, most of the time this stems from their home life so you may need to take an honest and closer look at yourself and see what type of environment you’ve created for them.

  • Does your child have the opportunity to express themselves? Do they feel heard?
  • Is there some conflict at home that is going unresolved?
  • Are you so busy with life that you have little time to spend with them?

Unless you get to the root cause of what is creating so much anger and resentment, no matter what you do the issue will remain. This may require some therapy depending on what it is.


Bullying From A Girls Perspective

teen girl bullyingWhile a lot of the material stated above is relevant for girls, there are some differences if a girl is being picked on so I’ve created a section that speaks directly to this.

When it comes to girls doing the bullying, the psychology of this runs very deep and the harm it causes is devastating and life changing because it is more psychological then physical. Women are pitted against each other because there is a deep-rooted belief that they have to compete with each other when it comes to their place (value) in the world. This can generally be broken down to their sense of self-worth, which is typically determined by:

  • Their looks
  • Popularity
  • The boys they date
  • Their families status and economical stature

All three have to do with status and how they’re perceived in the world. Almost all girls who obsess over their looks and popularity are very insecure and feel superior to other girls when they feel more pretty or popular (if you have not seen the movie Mean Girls I highly recommend you watch it). On the other hand, if your daughter is very pretty or comes from a financially well off family she can also be picked on or bullied for this reason. Either way its insecurity and status issues.

Most women who have depended on their looks to get by in the world generally pick on “nerds” or awkward girls because they know deep down that they themselves have nothing “real” or authentic to offer the world. A smart girl will have true success when she gets older and although the girls doing the bullying don’t see this, deep down they already know their shortcomings, which is why they feel the need to put down other girls. They know that unless they make different choices they have nothing real to offer the world other than their looks…and they also know that in this society their looks are an illusion and fleeting.

What To Do

There are a few things to consider when talking about this with your girl if they’re the ones being bullied. First you need to explain to them why it’s happening from “those kids” perspective:

They are picking on you because they feel weak inside and need to feel stronger. By picking on you, it helps them feel better about themselves even though they’re sad and lost.”

Here are some options for what your daughter can do:

Ignore Them – In an ideal world, she can just ignore them and hopefully they will get bored of teasing her and move on to something else.

Explore Her Female Power – If your daughter does not have a “good look” for herself, then help her put one together. By all means this is not about conforming or just doing what other girls do to look good. However, all women should have a sense of femininity and be in touch with this so they know how to express their female power in this world with integrity.

Become More Confident With Herself – She can do this is by discovering her talents in life and getting good at them. As her parent, you need to help her discover her authentic self so that she exudes a confident energy. Once she truly discovers her core talents in life and gets good at them then her self-confidence will grow and other girls will pick up on this “vibe”.


Fight Back – Most parents do not want to hear this and although it would be nice if we could just tell our kids why it’s happening and to just ignore it, for the most part this will not be enough. You may need to tell your girl to fight back. People in this world generally won’t respect you unless you stand up for yourself. If she tries to do this with words and it doesn’t work, she may need to let things get messy to show these girls that she deserves their respect. Even if she loses the fight the girls will respect her more for trying. I know you may not want to hear this but unfortunately it’s the truth. Hopefully she can find her authentic self and exude more confidence in other ways so that the bullying subsides before it reaches this point.

Blaming The Media

While some have blamed teen bullying on the media, this is not the root cause. In fact, the media only reflects what society is already doing. Media is a giant mirror and it clearly shows us who we are. It can certainly embellish a vicious cycle when first it reflects who we are, then others see it and use it to cause more damage. However, if you have a solid relationship with your child then the media cannot have this type of negative impact. Focus on yourself and teach your child how to feel confident, validated, and secure so that they don’t need to pick on or be picked on.

Need Help?

If you are in need of support then I have a three options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Coaching & Mentoring – If you would like to get your teen some one on one support, go here.

3. Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Boredom – How to talk to your teen when they are bored

Career & Life Purpose  – How to talk to your teen about building their future career & life purpose

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology


Teen Boredom: Tips & Advice For Parents

In this lesson, we are going to explore what to do with bored teenagers.

In it you will learn:

  • Why teenagers become bored
  • How boredom can lead to kids becoming troubled teens
  • The importance of putting your child in touch with their imagination
  • How this can negatively impact the rest of their lives
  • A game you can play with your teenager that will help them break out of being bored




Dear Parent,

For the last 20 years I have been helping teenagers and their families deal with the many challenges they face. My mission is to help your child become a healthy, happy, and responsible young adult. Please enjoy these free tips on how to help your teen.

Sam Miller

Take A Moment

Before you start this lesson, take a couple of moments to think back to the last time you were bored. What did you do? How did you overcome it?

Do you just turn on the TV or zombie out on Facebook? Do you feed your boredom with sugary sweets or alcohol? Do you go out shopping to fill that void? How creative are you when you become bored?

As the saying goes…”Idle hands are the Devil’s playground”.

Overview

For many parents, when their teenager becomes bored they seem to think it’s not that important of an issue to address or pay attention to, when in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Teaching teenagers how to approach occasions of boredom is vital to the future of their success in life and here is why:

There are only two things that can transpire when someone is bored. They either use this time to become constructive or destructive. When we become bored, it can provide a great opportunity to explore life and who we are. However, this takes some level of curiosity and willingness to do some work. Otherwise, if we don’t use this time to be constructive, by default we choose to be mentally lazy and become destructive whether with depression, loneliness, or acting out in some way just to get attention.



bored teenagerBoredom Can Create Negative Energy

When boredom is not used as an opportunity to be more constructive, it can turn into something that looks like kids getting in trouble, becoming depressed, or messing things up around the house. Boredom is real energy that is cooking inside your child and it needs to land somewhere just like a lightening bolt does.

When they’re not taught how to use this energy wisely, it manifests into something chaotic. Many parents get frustrated with their kids when this happens yet fail to realize that it’s the parents responsibility to teach their kids how to use their time to be creative and use their imagination to come up with something to do.

Imagination Is the Key

The reason that boredom plays such an imperative role in the growth of your teenager is that it allows them to solidify their relationship with their imagination. Most of society tends to down play our imagination as if it were just an afterthought to our mind and personality construct.

If you look at the most successful people in the world you will see they have quite a vivid imagination. All of our books, movies, art, music, and cultural artifacts were derived from someone’s imagination.

More importantly, the greatest inventions to have helped humankind thrive and make it this far all stemmed from our imagination. Our ability to think critically and come up with solutions stems from our imagination.

Without it, we would have very little joy on this planet. It’s through our imagination that we can conjure up new ideas about what we want to do and who we want to be. Even the “smallest” idea can turn into something much more meaningful down the road.

Creative Solutions

All of life is about facing challenges in some way, shape, or form. However, where most adults get into trouble is when they don’t have the ability to come up with their own solutions, thus are constantly turning to other people for advice.

Getting advice is great when the person receiving the advice knows how to discern the information and make it his or her own. The challenge most people face is that they don’t have a strong sense of self so they take advice from all sorts of people and do what others say they should be doing. This sends them in a downward spiral where they bounce around like a pinball and are always in reactive mode because they don’t know how to think for themselves.

When someone is put in touch with and builds a strong relationship with their imagination, they can use it as a platform to come up with creative solutions on their own. More importantly, when they’re able to filter advice through their own imagination to see how it sits with them, they can then decide for themselves to use the information or not.

We live in a time where we’re receiving an overload of information and the only way we can sift through it and use it effectively is by engaging our imagination.

The Working World

At some point or another, in the working world, you’ve probably heard the saying “they showed initiative”. This generally refers to someone who is being promoted because they’re very proactive in their company. They’re typically people who have strong imaginations that allow them to be more productive and action-orientated in their work environment.

Anyone who succeeds in the workplace is someone who has a strong relationship with their imagination and will make the most of their day. They can create on the go and when a challenge arises can come up with an idea or solution.



On the other hand, when someone is bored and can’t think of anything to do, their company sees them as a liability. You can spot this person a mile away because they have a dull look on their face and are bored out of their mind.

No company wants to constantly manage and motivate their employees to be creative and use their time productively. This is why so many people struggle in their career and business path because they don’t know how to think for themselves and create solutions to the challenges they’re facing.

Maybe they’re in the wrong career and I cover that in this career path article for teens. At the same time, maybe they just lack the ability to create a way to make the most of any situation.

Life Is A Choice

Every moment of our lives is a constant choice where we choose what we want to do with our time. We can either make the most of it, or we can let it slip by and not take full advantage of each moment. But to be able to take full advantage of each moment requires our imagination.

  • When you’re sitting in line do you create the idea of being bored? Or do you create an idea where you engage someone in line and learn something new?
  • When you’re sitting in traffic are you creative enough to use that time wisely or do you just sit there bored?
  • When you’re cleaning your house do you use your imagination to make it a fun experience? Or do you just see it as “something you have to do”.
  • When you’re home alone with nothing to do, do you automatically turn the TV on? Or are you able to engage your imagination to come up with something more creative to do?

When we don’t know how to engage our imagination, life can easily be filled with a lot of boring moments. For each of us, it’s a choice of how we choose to create and define each moment.

Our entire life experience stems from our imagination. From our imagination we create a belief around what we’re experiencing. From our experience is where we define each moment. If we don’t have a healthy imagination to create healthy definitions and beliefs about what we’re doing, life is boring.

My Kid Has A Wild Imagination

If you remember when you were a kid you had a great relationship with your imagination. You had a “special friend” you would talk to and you would play with your toys and make up games along the way.

Most adults brush this aside and say, “Oh my kid has such a silly imagination”. It’s too bad that so many parents devalue this instead of encouraging it.  Look at any child as they play and you will see that you don’t have to do much with them but watch them and ensure that they don’t hurt themselves.

Just put them in a playground with some toys and they will entertain themselves for hours with all kinds of games to keep them busy.

The Dangers

When teenagers start playing too many video games, watching TV, eating too much, or getting into other trouble, it mostly stems from boredom. It’s at that moment where a teenager gives up that connection they had with their imagination and just becomes lazy. Many parents are concerned with the lack of motivation their kids have and fail to realize that it’s because they’re not helping their teenager solidify their relationship with their imagination. Ironically, because most parents don’t have a good relationship with their own imagination, they can’t come up with any ideas to help their kids.

What To Do

Here are some ways to help spark your teenager’s imagination by asking them questions that open up creative ways of thinking. I call this “Top Three”.



Top Three

1. Ask your teenager to list the top three things that excite them the most. You can say something like, “Besides watching TV, playing video games, or hanging out on social media, what are the top three things that you would love to do?”

When they come up with a list have them get involved with one of them to the best of their ability. It could even be something as simple as researching online and reading up on something new.

2. Ask your teenager to name the top three people they admire most and write down what it is they admire about them. Then have them learn more about that person to see who they are and how they behave in life. This is a great way to help put your teenager in touch with a role model.

3. Ask your teenager to name the top three places they would love to go in the world and why. Once they’ve written them down have them research it on the web. Tell them to figure out how much it would cost for them to go there and then write a list of things they would want to do.

4. Ask your teenager to name the top three things they want to accomplish in life. Again, have them write it down and ask them how they plan to accomplish it. This will get their creative juices flowing and start them looking forward to life by building a sort of action plan.

It may require you to spend some time with them to get the ball rolling. But you will see that once the “spark” and connection is made, then they will keep themselves busy for some time.

However, you also have to be willing to keep them engaged along the process. Remember, teenagers have not established their structure and set of patterns, which is why you need to help lead the way.

This is not about you doing it for them or them becoming dependent on you. It’s about you coaching them and supplying a spark when they need it to help them get the ball rolling with their project.

If they say that they can’t think of anything, tell them to go lie down in bed, close their eyes, and ask themselves the same questions in their mind and write down what comes up. Tell them to not come out of their room until they have the answers.

Asking Good Questions

Asking good questions engages your teenager’s imagination so they can come up with their own solutions. Boredom is really just another way of saying, “lazy mind” or “no imagination”.

Your job is to ask your kid good questions and get them moving in a healthier direction by engaging their imagination. Once you’ve helped them establish a relationship with their imagination, you will see that they will no longer be bored and will know how to create on their own.

Now isn’t that something worth looking forward to as a parent? The time when your teenagers can create for themselves and not need you or anyone else to create their life?

Need Help?

If you are in need of support then I have a three options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Coaching & Mentoring – If you would like to get your teen some one on one support, go here.

3. Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Bullying – How to talk to your teen about bullying

Career & Life Purpose  – How to talk to your teen about building their future career & life purpose

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology


Teenagers Being Cool & Popular

In this lesson you are going to learn why your teenage son or daughter obsesses over being cool and popular and what you can do to help them.

In it we will cover:

  • The impact of Facebook and other social sites
  • How teenagers just reflect the ego aspect of our society
  • Four key factors to look for with your teen
  • A step-by-step guide for parents that will help keep your teenager in balance
  • The importance of helping your teenager discover their authentic self

Dear Parent,

My name is Sam Miller and for the last 20 years I have been helping parents regain control of the situation with their child as well as helping their teenagers deal with the many challenges they face.

My mission is to…

  1. Help you build a better relationship with your teen and
  2. Help your child become a healthy, happy, and responsible young adult

Please enjoy these free tips on how to help your teen.

Take A Moment

Before we begin the lesson, I want you to think back to when you were a teenager: how important was it for you to fit in? In high school, were you in the “cool group” or in the “other” group? Depending on which group you were situated with, how did the phase of fitting in impact your life?

Overview

Growing up as a teenager and young adult, I used to produce music events and publish a music and fashion magazine. So I was ensconced in the industry that was all about “being cool”.

This material is very important for parents to understand because it really focuses on a deeper issue that our entire society faces: validation and self-worth.

During the teenage years one of the issues that will come up is when your son or daughter is obsessed with being cool and popular. It’s an interesting time in human development when our entire lives are based upon feeling the need to be something we’re not.

Because teenagers are in the process of exploring their identity and finding themselves, it’s almost certain that your child will go through this. It’s just a matter of the degree to which they will be absorbed by the process.



The History Of Cool

The word cool originated back in the 1920’s in jazz clubs where if you were cool, it meant you were someone who knew how to strut your stuff via dancing, the clothes you wore, and the way you talked. It was an acknowledgement that the way you expressed yourself was unique and respected by others. It’s very similar to when a peacock struts its feathers to show off.

being cool popularCool In The Modern World

In today’s day and age, to be cool or popular is a bit different from how it originally started. Because everyone wants to be cool it’s now more about social acceptance via standing out. There’s still a slight component of being different and unique but because everyone is trying to be different and unique it’s now a form of conformity.

Facebook & Social Media

Because of Facebook and other social sites, now more than ever teenagers are obsessing over being cool and popular because “everyone can see” whether or not they are liked or accepted. If a teenager does not have as many friends or “likes” as others, their sense of self-worth diminishes.

Society

I cannot stress this enough in all of the lessons on this site that teenagers are a direct reflection of our society as a whole. Just look at how our politics, media, and corporate culture breeds this type of hierarchy.

Even our presidents have to focus so much on their popularity otherwise they wont win. In fact, there are some great leaders out there who would do a much better job then any of our recent presidents but because they do not look “cool”, they do not win. If you do not want your teenager to feel like they are going to “die” unless they are in the popular crowd, you need to help them put this into perspective sooner rather than later.

So why are so many teenagers and young adults obsessed with being cool?

There are four key factors that are happening in your child’s mind and personality construct:

1. Acceptance

Because most teenager’s feel insecure about who they are and are still unsure of themselves, the safest way for them to feel accepted is to be associated with the “in crowd”. Being socially accepted is something that most humans (regardless of age) strive for and by being cool this is the quickest way to get there.

2. Attention

Being cool and popular helps people get attention. Because they’re insecure about themselves they need this attention to validate who they are so they can feel better about themselves. This is why the lesson on “Validation and Self Worth” is so important so that your child does not depend on external sources to feel good about themselves. What most teenagers are saying is “look at me”. It is this attention they seek so that they can feel better and accepted.

Every time your teen obsesses over their social media presence and “likes”, its so that they can feel validated and good about themselves.

Note: For those of you with daughters, this is why many girls become promiscuous or “dress slutty”. They want to feel validated.

3. Separation

In some circles, being cool is about rebelling. If you remember Happy Days and the Fonz, bikers and thugs were considered cool because they went against the grain. Many teenagers feel that by associating themselves with particular music, clothes, and culture, they’re rebelling and this makes them cool.

4. The Ego

What many people fail to realize is that this truly falls under the ego construct. Everything described above (attention, acceptance, and separation) all have to do with the ego. It’s during the teenage years that the ego is being formed and entrenching its identity. The ego loves to be cool because it will feel more powerful. Its sense of self worth is being established and it gains a hold on your teenager, at least until they can learn to strike a balance between their true self and ego self.


A Male & Female Perspective

Most guys want to be cool and popular because they want to get laid and be desired by the “hot” girl.

Most girls want to be popular because it validates their existence.

What Can You Do As A Parent?

1. Let Go

As hard as it may be to watch your teenager like the things they like and do the things they do, you have to let go and provide them a neutral space with no judgment so that they can explore who they are. If you fight them any step of the way it will just turn into rebellion and get worse. So let go, be curious, have fun, and enjoy the ride.

2. Lead By Example

Your teenager is always watching you regardless of whether you think they are or not. Many of the lessons that you’re teaching them by example won’t “hit them” until they get older. It’s during the years that they begin to take inventory of what they’ve been doing and where they’re going that your lessons will be vital. Rest assured, it will all come full circle. If you show them how to live an authentic life and you have your ego in check, they will eventually get there. They’ll likely even get there sooner than later.

3. Help Them Discover Their Authentic Self

If you want to take a proactive approach and get involved with your teenager to try and sway them from trying to be cool, you can offer them other outlets to explore what they want to be and do in life. By getting involved and surrounding them with other opportunities, you give them another choice and direction to head toward. However, as stated above you never want to judge their process nor do you want to force anything upon them. By naturally presenting them other options and letting them choose for themselves (it is VERY important that they choose it for themselves), you will have done the best you can.

How Long Does This Stage Last?

Unfortunately, there is no exact answer here. I know many people in there thirties, forties, and fifties who are still obsessed with being cool and accepted. Remember, if you really want to help guide your teen through this, help them find their authentic self. Once they’re “rewarded” from their peers because of whom they really are, they will start to see their true value and let go of what they think others expect of them.



Need More Help?

If you are in need of support then I have 4 options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Counseling – If your teen is struggling with negative emotions or poor behaviors then go here.

3. Life Skills Tutoring – If you have a good kid who just needs some help learning life skills and getting ready for the “real world” then go here.

4. Parent coaching – If you need help learning how to get your teen to listen to you or do what you want then go here.



Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Boredom – How to talk to your teen when they are bored

Bullying – How to talk to your teen about bullying

Career & Life Purpose  – How to talk to your teen about building their future career & life purpose

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology


Angry Teenager: How To Deal With Your Angry Teen

In this lesson you are going to learn why so many youth are defiant and how to address the emotions of an angry teenager. We are going to cover:

  • Why so many teenagers are angry
  • What the root cause of their anger is
  • What to do if your teenager is angry with you
  • How to keep your teenager from becoming a troubled teen
  • Why it is important that you take an honest look at how you are communicating with them
  • The importance of using their anger as an opportunity to teach them about their emotions
  • A step-by-step guide on how you can handle this challenge without hiring a therapist or counselor
  • & Much more




Dear Parent,

For the last 15 years I have been helping teenagers with the many challenges they face. My mission is to help your child become a healthy, happy, and responsible young adult. Please enjoy these free tips on how to help your teen.

Sam Miller

Take A Moment

But before you begin this lesson, I want you to think back to the last time you were angry. What made you angry and how did you express it? Did you yell or scream? Did you want to start a fight? Or did you internalize it hoping that it will go away on it’s own? Before you can help your teenager address their anger, it is important that you take an honest look at how you do the same for yourself.

Overview

While there may be some crossover between the teen rebellion lesson and this one, I wanted to separate the two because in all practical terms, rebellion is an extreme stage of anger. At times, this emotion is so powerful and scary that most of us shy away from it because we don’t know what to do with it. Because we view anger as a bad thing, we want to sweep it under the rug and never look at it (until it builds up to the point where it explodes and sends us in a downward spiral).

This module is important because if you look at our world now, you will see that we are one giant mass of conflict where most of us are so angry that we don’t know what to do. We don’t get along with other countries, other states, our neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers, and so on. Anger is everywhere and yet we wonder why teens are so angry?


Simply put: Our teenagers are reflecting the world around them. And what I mean by this is that our world does not know how to handle anger and address their emotions in a calm and centered way. So why would they?

angry teenagerThe Emotional Rollercoaster

Your teenager is on an emotional roller coaster right now because of the intensity of challenges he or she is dealing with. Because many kids don’t know how to handle stress and conflict, they internalize it and it manifests into anger, resentment and then rebellion.

As your child’s guide, you need to help him or her express their emotions in a constructive way. Your child needs to get their anger out or it can completely change how they grow up in the world. The first thing you need to understand is that anger is ok. Let me say this again: anger is ok. Not only is it ok, it’s your friend because it shows you that something is out of alignment. It’s a signpost that says, “Hey, I don’t like this!”

The challenge arises when we don’t know how to face and resolve anger. The main reason that most people don’t know how to do this is because we judge anger as something bad. We only see the negative side of it so we want to ignore it and sweep it under the rug.

When your teen is angry, the first thing you need to do is understand where this anger stems from:

1. Are they angry with someone?
2. Are they angry with themselves?
3. Are they angry because of a situation that happened?
4. Are they angry with you?


If the situation is one of the first three, let them know that it’s ok if they’re angry and that you understand. Acknowledge their anger and let them know it’s ok. By acknowledging their anger they won’t feel bad or wrong and it relieves some of the weight and tension off their shoulders because you have taken some of it on. Also, by acknowledging their anger and letting it be ok, you neutralize the situation. You take the charge out of it and that can help to calm it.

Acknowledge Their Anger

You can say something like: “I can understand why you must feel so angry. If I were you, I would be angry too. It sucks huh?”

What this does is provide them a neutral space to feel it and because you are not invalidating them, they will be able to process it right then and there instead of internalizing it.

Releasing Their Anger

Help them get it out. Tell them to shout, scream, or yell. Punch a pillow. If dad is around let dad be a punching bag and go at it until all the energy is out. Anger is real energy and it needs to land somewhere like a lightening bolt. Be creative in how you help your child face it and let it out.

What if my teen is angry with me?

If they’re angry with you, then you have to dig a little deeper to resolve the issue. Remember you don’t want to take it personally. You now have to be mature for the both of you because they have to be able to vent, and you have to listen without reacting regardless of whether they’re right or wrong. This is what is meant by being a “neutral parent”.

More importantly, you have to be able to decipher what it is they’re actually saying. You have to see through the anger and emotions to figure out what’s underneath it. They’re not going to be able to speak to you in a calm and rational way so you have to be a detective and search out the core truth of their information (I know, sounds easier on paper right?).

Then you need to have the patience to transform their anger toward you into something constructive. The best way of doing this is by letting them say everything they have to say so that they can release the tension inside. Then give them some space so they can relax and calm down. Once they have calmed down, you can try and resolve whatever issue they’re angry about.


Changing Your Approach

It should be noted that if your teenager is angry with you, then they are angry because of “how” you have been developing your relationship with them and “how” you have been approaching your parenting. Generally speaking, parents assume that their kids are angry at them because they are trying to discipline and this is NOT true. Many kids are upset with their parents because of “how” they have been disciplining them and why they discipline them.

Being A Strict Parent

Setting boundaries for teenagers is a good thing. Controlling them and trying to keep them from living their life is not a healthy approach. If your teenager has ever accused you of being too strict, then you will need to take an honest look at yourself to find out if this is true. Now, the trick here is that if you base your reasoning on “how” your parents raised you, then you may need to look at the fact that your parents taught you by being too strict.

Were Your Parents Too Strict?

This is where many families struggle because your teenager lives in a much different world then the one you grew up in. These days’ kids have access to everything and while this does not mean that they should be able to do what they want, it does mean that you need to change “how” you approach the situation. Most of the rebellion you see taking place stems from parents being too strict and what this means is that you need to change “how” you set boundaries which is what this entire course outlines: change “how” you set your boundaries so that your teenager will not rebel.

Put Them In Touch With Their Emotions

Teaching your child to become more attune to their emotions is going to be vital to the success of their life. Anger is a sign and symbol that is sending a loud and clear message: “Hey, I don’t like this so please do something about it”.

It’s an empowering experience when someone is capable of being constructive with his or her anger. It’s an art form when an individual is able to share their emotions and still get their point across without shouting or screaming. When you look at spiritual philosophies such as Buddhism, where an entire culture has devoted their life to this way of being, you can truly start to see how powerful it really is.



Becoming A Therapist

Once again, you can either learn to do this yourself or you can spend thousands of dollars having a therapist do this. This is why people go to therapy: to get in touch with their emotions. All you need to do is be willing to be neutral and provide your teenager a safe place where they can talk about what is going on, then you can avoid having to go to therapy. It just requires that you ask good questions, be willing to listen, and then follow up with more questions. It is the good questions that helps guide the person in therapy to reveal to himself or herself what is going on. This is what will put them in touch with their emotions.

Internalizing Anger

If you’re not able to teach your teenager how to be more in touch with their emotions, he or she will internalize it. Anytime you turn on the news and see kids out of control, fights, and other destructive behaviors, this is the result of them not being able to be in touch with their emotions. Our anger must go somewhere and if we cannot strike a balance so that we have control over it, we will internalize it. It causes havoc down the road because it builds up inside and explodes into something that creates chaos (whether at home, school, or elsewhere).

Troubled Teenagers

When a child internalizes their anger and does not have anyone to talk to or a way of releasing their anger, this is how they become a troubled teen. What happens is that they are experiencing turmoil “inside their body” and this is affecting their behavior. As time goes on and their emotions go unchecked, then other aspects of their life will become affected and they will act out with erratic behaviors until their issues and emotions are addressed.

The Victim Role

One of the biggest pitfalls people enter into when dealing with anger is that they take on the victim role and re-create situations as if they have been victimized. When people choose this path it can send them on a downward spiral because they haven’t accepted responsibility for their choices and actions. While it’s true that someone else may not have been very nice or a situation may not have turned out as they would have liked, it’s still important not to create a story in their minds that they are victimized. The most powerful tool you can teach your child is to see everything from a neutral perspective. When people make themselves out to be victims, they’re really saying that they don’t have control over their lives and that what happens outside of them controls them. As your teenagers guide, you need to teach them how to take responsibility for their choices and actions.



Here is something you can say to them:

No matter what happens in life, you are responsible for how it makes you feel. Just because someone does something wrong or bad does not mean you have to take it on as your own. You’re in control of your emotions and it’s up to you not to let things get the best of you. Remember, you can’t control what others say or do but you can control how you respond to it.”

Using Anger In A Positive Way

When your teenager is angry, it’s your responsibility to teach them how to channel their energy in a constructive manner so they can explore their emotions and do something positive with them. Just as in the other modules of this course, first you need to confront your own issues with anger to ensure you have a healthy relationship with it.

  • When someone does something that you don’t like, do you react angrily and take it personally? Or are you able to respond from a centered and balanced perspective?
  • When you feel angry are you able to speak your truth while creating the space for the other person to speak as you listen? Or are you so absorbed with your anger that you no longer hear anything else.
  • If someone or something hurts you do you focus more on resolving it or retribution? Do you just want to get back at them so that they can feel your anger?
  • When you feel angry do you suppress it and push it down into your stomach so that you can try and forget about it? Or are you able to look at it in the moment and transform it.

Helping your teenager find their balance with anger so that he or she can use it in a constructive way is a great gift to bestow on them so that they do not have to suffer as much as others do. Here is a step-by-step action plan for helping them put their anger into perspective:

Step 1 – Acknowledge It

First you need to teach your child that being angry is not only ok, but also healthy because it’s a sign that they can use to show them that something is out of balance. When something happens that makes your child feel angry, tell them it is ok to be angry. This is very important because it will help to neutralize the situation.



Step 2 – Look At It

By teaching your child to acknowledge their anger and take a close look at it, they can then learn more about themselves and come up with potential solutions. Be specific and make them tell you what it is about the situation makes them so angry? Show your child that by remaining neutral with their anger, it allows them to resolve it and move on with their lives. Once it’s out on the surface it can actually be transformed into something healthy. Take the time with your teenager to objectively look at what it is that angers them so much.

Step 3 – Feel It

Once your teenager looks at the situation, they can feel the emotions that come with it. Help your teenager feel their anger. Say things to them like, “It hurts doesn’t it?” “It sucks that this and that has happened doesn’t it?” By allowing them to feel it they won’t suppress their emotions and it provides the initial phase of the healing process.

Step 4 – Release It

Anger has a lot of passion behind it that needs to be released. You can help your teen do this by allowing them to scream, yell, shout, hit a pillow, exercise, or something physical. Whatever works for them is fine as long as they can release the emotions. Martial arts is a great platform for kids to release their anger because it allows them to fight at the same time that it teaches them honor, respect, and discipline.  I cannot stress how important it is that they have a physical outlet for their anger.

Step 5 – Transform It

Once your teenager has looked at their anger and gotten it out of their system, they can transform it by exploring what it was and how it angered them. You need to ask good questions about what happened and help them accept their role in the process even if it means them just accepting that they can’t control everything (accept their emotions). It’s very important that you help them put it into perspective so that they can resolve it and move on with their lives. What you need to do is go through the scenario with them and explore what happened, why it happened, and what they could have done differently (what choices they could have made) that would have sent them in a different direction. Or, the other side of the coin is that sometimes people just need to learn acceptance and allowance (meaning you can’t control everything) and this could be a good time for them to start learning this tool.

 Extreme Anger

When a teenager has not been taught to transform their anger at the early stages of it, then it bottles up inside of them and grows into something quite nasty(i.e. Troubled Teenager). If your teenager is experiencing extreme forms of anger, then make sure to read the modules entitled:

Out Of Control

Rebellion

Lead By Example

An important factor here is “how” you handle your anger with them and the world. Your kids are watching you so they will internalize how to handle anger by the way you handle anger. I recall growing up and always seeing my uncle yell at cars next to us as we were driving saying things like “fucking asshole!” or “Learn to drive dumbass!” and I remember thinking to myself, “Is this the way I am supposed to talk to people if they do something wrong?”

Be aware of your own approach to anger and do it in a healthy way. Don’t hide or keep your anger from your kids. Show them so they don’t feel that anger is something we just put away and ignore. By doing this you show them that its ok to express feelings and it helps them deal with it in the moment. If you haven’t learned how to deal with anger yet, use the step-by-step tools I suggest above and start your process of learning how to transform anger.

Need Help?

If you are in need of support then I have a three options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Coaching & Mentoring – If you would like to get your teen some one on one support, go here.

3. Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Boredom – How to talk to your teen when they are bored

Bullying – How to talk to your teen about bullying

Career & Life Purpose  – How to talk to your teen about building their future career & life purpose

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology



Teenage Drinking & Alcohol Abuse

In this lesson we are going to explore teenage drinking, alcohol abuse, and what you as a parent can do to best prepare yourself and your child.

What you will learn is:

  • Why kids obsess over drinking
  • How to keep your teenager out of trouble and healthy
  • The importance of establishing an open line of communication
  • A step-by-step talk you can have with your teen about their relationship with alcohol
  • The most important factor all parents must focus on



Take A Moment And….

think back to when your parents talked to you about drinking. How did they approach you? Did they use fear and judgment? Or did they have a healthy and balanced approach? How did that talk make you feel? Did you feel empowered afterwards? Or were you confused? Did you have to figure things out on your own because they didn’t talk to you? Spend a couple of minutes thinking about those talks and write down any emotions that come up for you. Then ask yourself, “What do I want to impart to my child when it comes to drinking alcohol?”

Acceptance

At some point or another, your teenager will probably be drinking alcohol so you need to get over it regardless of their age. These days, it’s pretty easy for any kid to get hold of alcohol. Don’t make a big deal so that they don’t begin obsessing over it. Kids obsess over drinking at an early age because they feel like they’re rebelling and being cool. If you don’t make a huge deal of it (this doesn’t mean you condone or allow it) and just let them know you’re there to support them, it will neutralize the affect of the rebellious aspect by taking the fuel out of the fire of them to wanting to do it. Nonetheless, they will still want to do it ASAP because they see everyone else doing it.

teenage drinking alcohol abuseThe Party Stage

Even if your child is highly academic and not interested in being cool or partying, they will be faced with the party stage of their life. This happens from the ages of 14 to 32 and its just part of our culture now. And of course the main focus of partying is drinking.

Make sure to read the lesson on Teen Partying



Why Your Kids Will Drink

Almost all teenagers will drink at some point because it’s a right of passage to becoming an adult. It’s a sign that they are “cool”. All teenagers are in a rush to become adults because they don’t appreciate the process of life yet. The real issue is will they drink to the degree where they can no longer make good choices? You see, the real problem with alcohol is when parents avoid the situation or approach it from a “just don’t do it” mentality. If they don’t have a good relationship with their teenager about alcohol, then when the child does drink, they have no idea what to do, how much to drink, or what to expect. THAT is what causes the real problems.

Approaching the Situation

In any sensitive situation you enter into such as alcohol, make sure you educate your teenager and that the conversation is neutral, fair, and balanced. Do not come from a fear-based perspective otherwise you will lose their attention. I cannot emphasize this enough because this is where most “talks” go wrong. If you talk to them about why people drink and point out the pros and cons, then you remove the taboo flavor and it takes away their desire to use it as a form of rebellion. This is not about condoning the act; it’s about being honest and fair. Remember, they’re at an age where they can do anything they want, with or without your consent.

An example talk could go like this:

Well, you’re reaching that age now where alcohol is going to be all around you and I know you want to party. Of course it’s illegal to drink before the age of 21 so if you get caught drinking, you will need to deal with those consequences. That being said, while I do not prefer you drinking at an early age, I do know the reality that you may decide to. In moderation, alcohol can be fun. If you go overboard it can make you sick. Try to ensure that you never drink because you’re feeling down and depressed because this can develop into addiction and abuse. People who become alcoholics are those who use it to suppress their emotions and try to escape from their problems. Like I said, I prefer that you not drink until you get older but if you do here are some things to keep in mind:

1.     Drink 8 ounces of water with every 8 ounces of alcohol. Dehydration is the reason why people get sick so you need to make sure you’re drinking plenty of water.

2.     Drink slowly. If you are going to drink, start off slow because alcohol creeps up on you. Many people think that because they are not buzzed or drunk right away that they have not had enough to drink where in reality it just takes some time for some alcohol to enter your system and get you buzzed.

3.     If you get into trouble with the law you will need to suffer those consequences.

4.    Take an EmergenC with your water. Because alcohol depletes your body of nutrients, this will help replenish them.

5.    Never drink on an empty stomach. If you don’t have anything in your stomach there is nothing to absorb the alcohol and you can get very sick.

6.    Never drink and drive. Imagine how terrible you would feel if you got in the car drunk and hit or killed someone. Think about that for a moment. It would ruin your life and is it worth it? Please never get in a car drunk.



7.    Never drive with someone who is drunk. Too many people think they can drive while they’re drunk and while some can once they’re older (even though it is still illegal), kids cannot. Once again, think about your life. You could die, someone else could die, you could spend time in jail, and so on. It’s not worth it.

8.    If you begin to act out of control stop drinking. You might notice some people act like idiots or asses when they’re drunk. This means they don’t know how to handle their alcohol. You need to learn when enough is enough so you do not act like an ass. No one likes the crazy person at a party.

9.    If you are stuck somewhere and cannot drive please call me. Just know that no matter what I will not be angry with you and that you can call me if you need my help. Again, I am not condoning you drinking and really hope you will wait, but if you do decide to, please know you can call me for anything. I will be right there and I won’t give you any guilt trip.

10.  Never drink to be cool. If you’re going to drink do it because you want to, not because other people are doing it. Being cool is about being your own person and not following other people like sheep.

11.   Balance and moderation are the keys to life. If you decide to drink, just remember that moderation is what will allow you to drink and have a good time. Once you go overboard, then you’ve lost your power. If you truly want to become a successful adult, do everything in balance and moderation.

I love you very much and trust that no matter what happens, you will make the best decision for you.”

Does This Mean They Will Listen?

Not necessarily. But they will have heard you. Sometimes they will remember and other times they won’t. Once again, this is about minimizing the damage, not removing it entirely. Remember when I discussed the probability factor (this is a lesson in the foundation course so make sure you take the time to go through this)? When you remain neutral and don’t come from a fear-based mentality, your child can hear what you say and draw on it at a later time. Because you’re open and honest with them and accept the fact that they could drink, they likely won’t drink to rebel, which is why most teens do. If they do decide to drink and you have a good relationship with them, they will take into account all of the things you’ve said and will drink more responsibly. This does not mean they will be perfect and make no mistakes. But it does lower the probability factor and that is the best you can do.



State Of Being Is Everything

The reason that so many people get into trouble with alcohol (regardless of age) is their state of being. Alcohol is neutral. Some people can handle it and others can’t. You need to focus more of your energy on why they’re drinking as opposed to whether they’re drinking. Are they insecure, lost, or confused? Are they angry, hurt, sad, or depressed? Are they trying to overcompensate for something or doing it to show off or get attention? Those are the real culprits in the challenges that someone faces when they drink.

If someone is just drinking to have a good time and is already a person in a good mood, then for the most part, they should be fine. Once you educate your teenager on the health stuff such as dehydration and drinking water, EmergenC, not drinking on an empty stomach, etc., then you have truly done the best you can. Remember that alcohol is the trigger, not the root cause. In fact, no drug or outside substance is ever the core issue. They’re always just the trigger mechanism of that person’s state of being.

Leading By Example

As always, they will be taking their cue from you when it comes to alcohol. Are you drinking beer or wine on a daily basis? Do you become out of control with alcohol? Or are you on the opposite side of the spectrum where you are in fear and are completely against alcohol? Either way, the best way you can lead by example is to teach them balance and moderation. You want them to sense from you that you have a solid grasp of the subject and are not reactive toward alcohol. By making it neutral and just letting it be, you remove any stigma from it and your teenager can then begin their own process of finding their balance with it. Since alcohol is everywhere and a huge portion of our societal structure, it’s very important that you set this tone ASAP.

Need Help?

If you are in need of support then I have a three options for you:

1. E-Book – Download my free e-book on How To Talk To Your Teenager So They Listen To You where I show you seven very important steps on how to handle your teen.

Son – If you have a son go here to access it.

Daughter – If you have a daughter go here to access it.

2. Coaching & Mentoring – If you would like to get your teen some one on one support, go here.

3. Want more tips?

Alcohol – How to talk to your teen about alcohol

Anger – How to help your teen address their anger issues

Being Cool & Popular – How to talk to your teen about not being cool & popular

Boredom – How to talk to your teen when they are bored

Bullying – How to talk to your teen about bullying

Career & Life Purpose  – How to talk to your teen about building their future career & life purpose

Dating & Sex – How to talk to your teen about dating and sex

Depression – How to talk to your teen when they are depressed

Drugs – How to talk to your teen about drugs

Ecstasy – How to talk to your teen about using ecstasy aka MDMA or “Molly”

Hard Drugs – How to talk to your teen about hard drugs

Hurt Feelings – How to talk to your teen if they have hurt feelings

Lying – How to address your teen when you catch them lying

Money – How to talk to your teen about being responsible with money

Out of Control – How to talk to your teen when they are out of control

Overweight – How to talk to your when they become overweight

Partying – How to talk to your teen about partying

Rebellion – How to address teenage rebellion

School – Tips on how to address problems at school

Stealing – What to do if your teen is stealing

Technology Addiction – What to do if your teen is addicted to technology